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Thursday, July 9 2015
This Week

Camilla Long has a problem with friends who see politicians in a sexual light, while I have a problem with the lack of equality for women in the business world. Our Really Trying correspondent hears her baby for the first time and Clare Anderson, the businesswoman, answers Caitlin Moran's ultimate questions for women.

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What do you do if your gay best friend has a violent and unstoppable crush on the chancellor? Apparently George Osborne is “less attractive” now that he has slimmed down and adopted the uncompromising facial routine of a Siberian tourist divorcee, but according to one of my friends he is still “incredibly hot, like someone’s bank manager dad” or the bad hot boy at boarding school. He is right up there in the “Giles Coren” category of gay icon — a BILF (a briefcase I’d like to…take on a lot of long and meaningful walks).

And so we have the same conversation every Budget Day.

Him, quietly: “Do you fancy George Osborne?”

Me, breezily, confident in my non-fancying of George Osborne: “No. No! Good grief! Do you?”

Silence. Well… Really? Then he mumbles something about George's weight loss and how he's “less attractive” now that he doesn’t look like a complete Regency arsehole.

It is always distressing to discover that any of one’s friends sees any politician sexually. Remember all the people who fancied Mrs Thatcher, a woman sexually attractive right down to her large, red, “engorged” ear-lobes? (Earrings would “pop off” when she got excited). Or that really dark moment during the election when David Cameron desperately tried to self-sexualise, shamelessly courting the horny vote by upping the “passion” during speeches and wheeling out his wife (Sam Cam obliged by bending over next to a dishwasher) only, presumably, to throw a furious tantrum when the pictures of Sam Cam in a bikini in Ibiza came out just four or five weeks later.

And now George is a gay icon. I have no idea how this happened, although I suppose he is friends with a Spice Girl (he played pass the ice cube with Geri Halliwell at a wedding in 2009). And he does love Madonna. And he does have a bichon frise called Lola. And he does have a fabulous new haircut (I call it the Vulcan 9000). And he clearly has a dermatologist on dial and someone right there, Richard James (the tailor rather than the hairdresser, but either way #insideleg). Come to think of it, how can he NOT be a gay icon? Roll on next Budget Day.

Camilla Long is Sunday Times film critic, interviewer, and columnist for Sunday Times Style.

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It is the day of the booking-in appointment. I tell my husband I do not wish to be booked in with anyone, especially not with a community midwife, who, I have read on the pregnancy forums, tend to be either judgmental or a bit mad. He frogmarches me to the clinic and tells me to stop being childish.

Janet – the community midwife – sweeps into the room. She shoots me a high-wattage smile: “Hello!” she says. “Come on in!”

The appointment quickly turns out to be a pretty intensive affair. We go through everything. EVERYTHING. That’s my medical history, my husband’s medical history, any drugs (legal or otherwise) I am taking, how easy it was to get pregnant, my profession and how much stress I am under at work.

Janet asks whether I smoke or drink and whether I am taking folic acid every day. We discuss when my last period was (to confirm my estimated due date), my initial thoughts about birthing and how I am coping with pregnancy. Then, she asks whether I am, or have been, affected by domestic violence.

“Sorry, I have to ask,” says Janet, turning more serious for a moment. “You’d be surprised how many people say yes.”

My height and weight are measured, my urine and blood pressure checked. Like all pregnant women in the UK, I also have blood tests to check my blood group, iron levels, my immunity to rubella (German measles) as well as tests for HIV/Aids, hepatitis B and syphilis. I am well and truly booked-in.

“So!” Janet shuts her laptop. “Let’s get you on the couch and check on baby.”

“I think I’ve got a bump already,” I offer, proudly stroking my stomach.

“Nope. That’s just fat,” says Janet smearing me with gel and prodding around with a foetal doppler. “Your uterus is still firmly within your pelvis.”

It’s a fair cop. I have been mainlining custard doughnuts for weeks now.

And then I hear it. A little galloping heartbeat.

“There’s baby,” smiles Janet. And it becomes ever more real.

Janice Turner is shocked — and disappointed — by the reaction to her criticism of Rihanna's gruesome new video. “I expected, particularly given the furore over Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke — whose naked video ladies were playful and flirtatious rather than in raw agony, whose lyrics were arguably rapey rather than graphically violent — that there would be an outcry. Instead, almost universal silence. Women’s magazines (trying to get a piece of the online traffic) linked to the video excitedly. And to my amazement The Guardian, the high temple of feminist thought, has so far run only pieces that celebrate Rihanna, displaying images of the tortured woman on its homepage.”

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Katie Glass has discovered the ultimate contraceptive, a friend’s toddler. “I take the kid to my favourite places and he hates them: falling asleep at the Freud Museum, and screaming at the Globe. He cries through the Sonia Delaunay exhibition at Tate Modern, trying to touch paintings, screaming to leave, then — when we do — refusing to go.”

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Talking of young children, Ben Machell has some advice for new dads. “Don’t compete with other new dads. It’s unsisterly, but it happens a lot now. I was at a parents and babies sing-song group where there was one other bloke, and I know for a fact he was trying to lift his kid higher than mine during the dance to Ring a Ring o’ Roses. It was pathetic and transparent, but also pointless, because I was considerably taller than him and I was always going to win. Which I did.”

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What is going on with Prince George’s old-fashioned wardrobe, Robert Crampton wonders. “Judging by how young George is presented to the world, at any rate. I’m starting to think that, while it may well be true that William wants his family life to be more like his wife’s was and less like his, that may not be entirely true of Kate.”

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If Martina Hingis could go back in time, she tells Alyson Rudd she would choose to be 25 again. Not 16, when she won Wimbledon. And not 27, when it was revealed that she had tested positive for cocaine. Hingis adds: “It’s not that I’m happy about it. I wish I could erase that part, that I could have done something. It’s hard to put into words [what you feel] when you are a victim. I’ve always said that I never did anything.”

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India Knight finds herself more in favour of christenings than weddings. “Christenings are often moving in the way that a union between adults isn’t, necessarily. Hooray for love and everything, and a good wedding is a marvellous thing, but it doesn’t really compare, in terms of goosebumps and the urgent need to sob, to the blessing of a baby surrounded by its parents and family, with its godparents vowing to keep it in their love and care.”

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Clare Anderson, founder of Shared Beauty Secrets, is in the chair

Why do you do what you do? I love what I do, which makes it a pleasure, not a chore. I am driven by setting myself a challenge, and get a buzz from achieving my goals, always aiming towards bigger and better steps. As well as growing my own business further, it is so rewarding also seeing all of my customers’ businesses grow further too, using my products and I feel immensely proud knowing that I started the company and all of this comes from something as simple as placing a shell in someone’s hand.

What are you best at? Seeing an opportunity in the smallest or most obscure places. I first spotted lava shells on holiday in 2009, and while others had dismissed them, I saw huge potential to use them in massage. I am very focused and determined which has no doubt been beneficial and I make things happen very quickly. My other strength is knowing when to delegate. You can’t do it all, so I surround myself with strong people to support me.

What one thing would make work better? As a business with no investors, there is no huge marketing budget, which of course I would love to have! Instead, I am extra creative and look into opportunities others may not consider which does make the business stronger. I would love to create a large consumer awareness campaign to drive business into our salons and spas.

If you had to start again and do something else, what would it be? It would definitely still be something in the spa market, as I have over 25 years’ experience within the industry. Something unique, innovative and always working for myself.

Which woman do you admire and what question would you like to ask her Businesswomen I really admire are Anita Roddick and Jo Malone. They turned their brands into household names and I would love to ask: “How did you go about raising such a phenomenal consumer awareness of your brand?” It fascinates me how people take their product to that next level.

Clare Anderson reached the finals of Virgin Media’s 2015 PitchToRich competition

In the award-winning Saturday Times Magazine: Fashion editor Kim Hersov is at home with the Notting Hill set, plus Caitlin Moran on the worst thing about summer, and find out about the hippest village in Britain.

In The Sunday Times Magazine: the writer Yasmin Alibhai-Brown reveals how she became an unofficial agony aunt to young British Asians with traumatic family issues. Plus, A Life in the Day with a real life mermaid, Melissa Dawn, and Jamie Oliver's Sicilian sweet pastry treats.

Chosen by Flossie Saunders, Fashion Editor of The Sunday Times Style

Uterque is a brilliant new brand and Zara's slightly more refined older sister. Like Zara, the clothes are brilliant as well as wearable, and the site is updated each week. Their speciality? Shoes. There is a high street version of almost every iconic shoe from the catwalk. So if you can’t afford the Marni flatforms, then try these for a fifth of the price!

The chunky flatform, was £115. Currently on sale from uterque.com
“There have been occasions when he has been posted away, we have done long periods of weekend commuting and he has done tours in the Balkans and Afghanistan. But largely it has worked so well because he has been on-side.”
Susan Ridge, the British army’s first female general, appreciates the support of her husband
For winning the World Cup, the U.S. women's team will receive a payout of $2 million—in 2014, the German men's team received $35 million.
@UberFacts
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It’s so obvious why women often get left behind at the workplace, isn’t it? It’s the choices we make, the time we take out, or even because we don’t help each other get on (the so-called Queen Bee Syndrome). Actually no. To all the above. Women may not be given the big projects, or be in the top jobs, but the reasons why are more complex.

I recently met Allyson Zimmerman, head of Europe for Catalyst, a global non-profit research organisation, which has been studying women in business for the last 50 years.

Our meeting was both fascinating, and depressing – showing that many of the myths around women in work are just that, myths. Women are as ambitious as men. They (we) rival men when it comes to credentials, experience and aspiration, but trail in position, pay and the management responsibilities (the really big projects) which are crucial for advancement. Women are even paid less in their first job than men.

It’s rather shocking research, made more surprising because the facts hold true even when comparing women who hadn’t had children. In other words, the belief that kids stop us from progressing is plain wrong.

There are a number of barriers, and some are invisible. One key is access to informal networks. I remember starting my first job and wondering how a fellow (male) graduate suddenly knew the most important people (all male) on the paper. I soon discovered it was because he was a good golfer and they wanted him to take part in their golf days. The same thing happens if a company has a cricket or football team. All too often this means young men – valued for their sporting prowess – make all sorts of contacts which women miss out on.

Women need role models and mentors, but too often those mentors aren’t senior enough. The research shows that men have mentors (or sponsors) in more senior positions, who can advocate for their protégés in high level meetings.

Zimmerman says men are promoted “based on potential”, while women are promoted based on performance. Surely this lack of equality is all wrong. Companies need to show they are serious about promoting women and giving them the same opportunities. And this has to trickle down the organisation. Otherwise that’s an awful lot of talent going to waste.

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